The 5 Pairs of Shoes Every Man Needs

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For all the men out there who struggle when it comes to shoe shopping, never fear! I’ve picked out all the shoes you need to complete any outfit you can imagine. You really only need five pairs of shoes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to have lots of options. But if you’re looking to put together a simple capsule wardrobe, or you’re more of a minimalist, check out this list for the top five pairs of shoes that every man needs.

A Cognac Dress Shoe

Cognac is a timeless alternative to the classic brown shoe. It adds a bit of a pop, works in most color schemes, and demonstrates a more elevated sense of style. You can make a cognac pair of shoes work with any color suit or dress slacks, aside from black. Just make sure your belt is also cognac and you can’t go wrong!


Watson Cap Toe Oxford – $130

The Classic Black Oxford

A classic black dress shoe is an absolute staple. You cannot NOT have a pair of black leather oxfords. If you’re a minimalist, or looking to keep a low shoe count, I recommend a more simple style.


Knaggs Cap Toe Oxford – Also available in brown. – $90

The Loafer

A comfortable, flexible, leather loafer is a great way to make a casual outfit appear more elevated and put-together. Many loafers can also be worn with shorts, as a warm-weather option. You can also sub a loafer for an oxford if your attire is more business casual. I recommend colors like olive, navy, or gray.


Jasper Penny Loafer – Available in Olive, Charcoal, Beige, and Navy – $75

A Basic Leather Boot

Having a nice, versatile pair of boots to wear with jeans or more casual attire is essential. I recommend selecting either a low laceless boot, or a chukka style. Opt for black, gray, or tan colors to ensure optimum versatility. Comfort is important, because this is going to be an everyday shoe.


Landon Boot – Available in Black, Tan, Navy, Gray, and Dark Brown – $70

Simple White Sneaker

Every man should have at least one pair of (what people are calling these days) “dress sneakers” meaning sneakers that you don’t wear for athletic purposes. I’m a fan of a simple white leather sneaker. This is a style that will work with almost any outfit, including a pair of slim-fit dress slacks. Can also be paired with cuffed jeans, shorts, or almost any look that isn’t a suit. 


Joe Mama Sneaker – $50

Additional Shoe Tips:

1.) My biggest shoe tip is to always make sure your footwear matches your belt. If you buy gray loafers, make sure you have a gray belt to match. While this is not necessarily true of the white sneakers, you do want to be sure that the belt you’re wearing matches your shoes on the casual-to-formal scale. For example, when wearing sneakers you might opt for a woven belt, over a leather one.

2.) Don’t cheap out! At least not on these five pairs. These styles will likely be your most-worn pairs of shoes, so make sure they are high-quality, comfortable, and easy to clean. The styles on this list are timeless, and biting the bullet to get high-quality styles will mean more years between this purchase and the next.

3.) Piggybacking on tip two: take good care of your footwear. Use a shoe tree, or shaper, inside your leather footwear. Polish, buff, and shine your shoes regularly. Waterproof, and protect your shoes, and remove spots and stains as quickly as possible. Purchase cotton shoe bags for travel. All these things will extend the life of your shoes

Meet Maggie

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“What do you do?”

It’s one of the first questions people ask when you meet them. Your career is often a defining factor about who you are as a person. Some people have it easy, their job is easily summed up by their professional title. “I’m a lawyer.” “I’m a doctor.” “I’m a racecar driver.” Those jobs are easy to understand. But there are some of us, especially those of us in creative professions, who don’t have it quite so easy. 

“I’m a personal stylist.”

I always face a series of follow up questions about my line of work. And until very recently I was extremely self conscious and reluctant to divulge the details of my job. My job is centered around fashion. I tell people what clothes to buy and wear. When I simplify my job to just a few sentences, I can’t help but feel shallow and materialistic. Fashion is so frequently correlated to status, and many people fail to see the importance of style. While I love fashion, and style, and shopping, there is so much more to this job. So I feel like I am constantly trying to justify my career choice, without boring people with an endless description of what I do and why I do it. 

For me, being a personal stylist is less about knowing the latest trends or owning the most expensive shoes, and more about helping people create a parallel between the way they dress and their goals and aspirations. 

“Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” 

“Dress for success.” 

You’ve heard these phrases time and time again because they are true. Your clothes, and how you present yourself, are the first indicators to strangers of who you are. Unfortunately we cannot stop and greet every person we encounter, but we can demonstrate a piece of ourselves to the world in the way we dress.

As a stylist, it is my job to learn about my clients. I learn who they are, what they care about, their goals, their hobbies and interests, and the person beneath the surface. I use that information to help them establish a sense of style that reflects those intrinsic qualities. 

Today I want to share a story with you. This is not my story, but the story of a client-turned-friend. Maggie came to me last fall and has been one of the most rewarding people to work with. Here is a little bit more about Maggie, in her words:

Hi! I’m Maggie! I’m a recent college graduate, with my BSN, about to start my career as a nurse. I love coffee, wine, movies, almost anything outdoors, and especially being on the water! I am proud to say I’m finally the person I always knew I was and at age 27 have the strength and confidence to really begin my life. To say it was a journey to get here is an understatement. 

You see I was born a male, yep I’m transgender. I’ve always known I was really, even if I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I certainly wouldn’t admit it to friends and family for a long time. So even though I knew I was different than most boys growing up, because of my own fears and lack of confidence I wouldn’t choose to transition until I was 24 years old. Even then I didn’t dress as “Alexis” (the first name I thought I wanted) in public. And I had no idea how to actually come out to those I loved. 

I was however, able to begin hormone replacement therapy. As the hormones started to work their wondrous magic on my body, it became harder and harder to hide Maggie (by this time I settled on my name now) to a point where changes were being noticed. It was at this time I knew I couldn’t stay in the closet much longer. It was not only the hormones, but by this point I knew that I couldn’t keep pretending to be male when I truly was not. It was eating me up inside every single minute of every day.

I decided to begin to slowly come out, to stop dramatically trying to hide the physical changes I was experiencing. This however led me to probably my second biggest fear (next to friends and family abandoning me) trying to find clothes and outfits that were “me.” Considering I tried so hard to conform to what boys like, I never had anyone to help me with fashion, especially women’s fashion. Cosmo, Glamour, and YouTube don’t exactly teach a rookie too much on these topics. Nor did they help my confidence, they actually sunk my confidence deeper. 

While I began coming out at nursing school and to friends, I decided it was time to seek help with fashion. I went online and sought out a stylist. This is where I met Theresa! She, right off the bat, was nothing short of amazing. She listened to each and every one of my fears and concerns. She listened to my ideas, the things I liked and didn’t like, and guided me in discovering my style. At the same time she was doing this, she also was building my confidence in myself and helping me find the real Maggie. The Maggie that was always there, but I tried so hard to conceal for so long that I didn’t really know who I was. 

Theresa was there through the whole process making me feel PROUD of who I was. It was literally retail therapy. I still do have a lot of “me” to work on, and will continue to do so with Theresa’s help. I cannot even express how much she has done for me as a person and as a woman. 

To anyone unsure of their style, or if it goes deeper than that and they are unsure of themselves, Theresa as your stylist will change your life – and I’m not just saying that. She brought a smile to my face for the first time in a long time and I can now proudly walk into a room, or a job interview, or a myriad of other things with assured confidence. I am secure with who I am. She seriously was a dream come true and I am so happy to call her my FRIEND!

Thank you Theresa!

-Love Maggie

Working with Maggie has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my career as a stylist. Seeing her evolve, and watching her personality come to life has made me so happy and proud. It is for people like her, that I do what I do. 

Maggie’s great success in her transition is truly inspirational. She is living her life as her true self, and that is something to be admired. It is our hope that by sharing her story, it will inspire others to look deep inside and ask, “Am I living my life the way I want?”

XOX

Theresa

All About Fur

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Fur as fashion has an interesting history dating back 170,000 years. If you own a fur, are looking to purchase a fur, or you hate the idea of wearing fur, here I’ve put together a little fur guide to help you understand why fur is a fashion trend that just doesn’t quit. I hope this also serves to encourage an appreciation of the history of fur in fashion. 

Early human hunters, who donned fur to keep warm, believed that fur contained a bit of the spirit of the animal from which it came. In wearing the fur, it was believed there was a connection established. This connection served to honor the animal. 

Over time, fur evolved from a spiritual protective garment into a garment of fashion. Fur as a statement of wealth emerged in the 11th century, worn primarily by European royalty. By the 1300s, laws regulated which social classes were to wear which types of furs, making furs an easy-to-detect status symbol. 

During the Victorian era, fur grew in popularity. Commonly used to line coats, or decorate sleeves and collars, fur became more easily manufactured and purchased. By the 20th century the popularity of fur began to skyrocket. Technology enabled furs to be produced at a much quicker rate. Designers began to incorporate fur into more designs and fur grew more and more desirable. 

It was in the 1960s that faux fur emerged and enabled anyone to have the expensive look associated with fur, for a fraction of the cost. I 

Today there is somewhat of a controversy as to the ethicacy of fur, and rightfully so. While the first wearers of fur wore it in order to honor the animal, the sentiment was lost over the years, and replaced with a desire to look expensive.

I don’t encourage anyone to buy fur today. While it can be beautiful and warm, there is no question that it is a cruel practice. However if you love the aesthetic of fur, and you appreciate the history of this fashion trend, there are lots of ways to get your hands on a fur garment, without further promoting the practice of farming animals for their pelts.

Because fur has historically been an expensive symbol of wealth, many furs have been lucky enough to make it through the years in like-new condition. You can find high-quality fur garments if you are willing to spend the time to look. Spend time browsing vintage and antique shops and you’re bound to find a piece that is to your liking. 

If you are on the hunt for a fur, or you already have one, it’s important to properly care for the garment. Because it was formerly the pelt of an animal, the condition can easily deteriorate over time, lessinging the value and the quality. To elongate the life of the garment, and enhance the value, proper cleaning and storage is important. 

Furs should be stored in a dry cool location.Ideally you want to store your fur in a place where there is no direct sunlight. You want to hang your fur on a shoulder-shaped hanger to preserve the shape. Never store your fur in a plastic garment bag, instead opt for cotton to protect the garment while still allowing it to breathe. The cotton will protect from dust that can dry out the oils in the fur. Your fur should have a slight oiliness when you touch. If your fur is very dry it can become brittle and break. If your garment is dry, dirty, or damaged take it to professional to have it oiled, cleaned, or repaired.

 

As a lover of fashion, part of wearing a piece is knowing and understanding the history of it. Like fur, most fashion trends have a past that makes them even more interesting. By understanding the history of a style, you begin to develop and appreciation and a more creative approach to wearing that look today. 

Whether you own a fur, or are looking to add one to your wardrobe, I encourage you to embrace the mentality of history’s first fur wearers. By appreciating the animal from which the fur was made, and developing that spiritual connection that early hunters had, your fur garment becomes more than just a fashion statement or status symbol. Instead you are wearing a story. It’s more than just fashion: it’s art, it’s a conversation, it’s history!

I’d love to hear more about your feelings on fur! Do you own any fur pieces, or faux fur styles? Comment below!

XOX

Theresa

Fishnet Stockings

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 For several hundred thousand years, people have been wearing clothing. Since everyone you know wears clothing, you probably don’t spend much time thinking about how individual garments and styles evolved over time. But chances are, whatever you’re wearing right now has a pretty extensive and interesting history, if you care to look into it.

Clothing styles come and go and come again. Even some of the trendiest 21st century clothing has a story dating back longer than most of us have been alive. 

In an effort to make Refined a more educational space, I’m kicking off a new #TBT instagram series focusing on the history of fashion. Knowing the history behind the styles you wear is a good way to think more creatively about putting together your looks each day. So, in an effort to make 2020 the most fashionable year yet, let’s chat a little about how your favorite trends came to be…

Fishnet Stockings: A History

The Peasant’s Wise Daughter is an Aesop’s fable dating back to the early 1800s. Long story short (or at least as short as I can make it) the peasant’s daughter must solve a riddle from the king. The relevant part of the riddle being, “Come to me not clothed, not naked…” in order to achieve both, the wise daughter presented herself to the king wrapped in a fishing net.

As a reward for her clever response to the riddle, the wise girl became queen. The moral of the story: presenting yourself in fishnets is a sure-fire way to land a husband… I’m kidding, of course there’s more to the story, but you can see how this fable may have been responsible for introducing the concept of fishnets as sexy.

In the 1920s, fishnets were most commonly seen on flappers and burlesque dancers. By the 50s, they were a popular garment for pinup models. In the 80s, fishnets became most commonly associated with punk culture. Today anyone and everyone can wear fishnet stockings. 

So there you have it: a brief history of one of today’s sexiest trends. Are you a wearer of fishnets? If you’d like to learn more about how to style fishnet stockings in new and creative ways, leave a comment below!

Dressing for the First Date: Spring Edition

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The perfect date night outfit is a look I get a ton of requests about. Picking the perfect outfit is especially difficult when you’re just starting to date. Whether you think about it or not, your clothes, and how you choose to dress, can say a lot about you! This is particularly true when you’re in the dating game. I thought I’d put together a little guide for picking the perfect first date outfit to provide a little inspiration to help those of you out who spend an entire afternoon deciding what to wear. This week’s post is for the ladies, check back for a post of First Date Outfits for the Fellas.

Comfort is Key

In high school, when I couldn’t decide what to wear, my mom would ask me, “What’s most comfortable?” It’s unbelievable how important comfort is when it comes to selecting your outfit. This is especially true when you’re meeting someone for the first time; the last thing you want to be concerned with is if your dress is static-y or your blouse is hanging awkwardly. If you’re uncomfortable in something you’re wearing, your date may misinterpret that as discomfort with him/her. Plus, your date won’t think those heels are that cute if you’re wobbling around because your feet hurt. So before I make any suggestions as to outfit ideas or styles to try, I want to emphasize the importance of comfort.

Confidence Baby

My next tip builds on the comfort factor, and that’s confidence. You want to select an outfit that is not only comfortable, but makes you feel really good. You know your body better than anyone, so choose an outfit that you feel is flattering, well-fitting, and makes you feel like a million bucks. If you know red is your color, wear red! If your legs are your best feature, show them off. Maybe there’s a piece of clothing you are frequently complimented on? Wear that! Chances are there is something you own that makes you feel like a rock star. Pinpoint what about that look makes you feel so good, and then implement that for your date!

Can’t think of anything?

Here are a few examples:

  1. Do you have a lot of definition in your collar bone? Wear an off the shoulder style.
  2. Is your hair your best feature? Keep your top simple, and wear it down.
  3. Itty bitty waist? Choose a belted dress or high waist jeans.
  4. Nice long neck? V-neck is great for you!
  5. Are you proud of that booty? Opt for a bodycon style dress.
 

Outfit Inspiration

Now, unfortunately there is not a one-size-fits-all, universally perfect first date outfit. I wish! You have to make a selection that works for you! Your body, your closet, your date. But I have put together a few samples ideas to get the ball rolling. Since spring is creeping up fast, I selected some looks for moderate temps that will work for either an inside date, or something outdoors. Depending on if you’re going out to a fancy dinner, or a walk in the park, here are some ideas to point you in the right direction.

Super Casual

It’s crazy how fashion is so cyclical, but the denim skirt is back! A well fitting denim skirt, and a length you are comfortable with, is the perfect option for a first date (and a great way to show off your perfectly contoured spray tan). The denim skirt is casual, but just a step above regular jeans. It can be dressed up and down. Here are a few ideas for styling a denim skirt for a casual first date.

 

A distressed denim skirt, with a simple striped button down. Try a half tuck, French tuck, or knot it to add some shape to your figure. This is a great look because it can be paired with simple white sneakers, espadrille wedges, or flat sandals.

 

Another casual date option is a more structured denim skirt with a graphic tee. Do you have a favorite band? Maybe a cool vacation t-shirt? Or just a vintage tee that demonstrates something of interest? It’s a great way to dress comfortable, casual, and stimulate a little conversation to learn more about each other.

  

My last denim skirt look is super simple. Opt for a longer style skirt, a simple tank, and a cute scarf! When you’re struggling to find the perfect look, a good suggestion is to keep things simple, and use accessories to add character to look. In this case a scarf! You can also try fun earrings, jingly bangles, or a bright bag to bring your personality!

Dressy

Maybe your date plans include something a little more formal. Are you going to a nice restaurant? A performance? A night on the town? If you need a look that requires you to be more dressed up I recommend experimenting with mixing textures. Since Spring is transitional, you can pull elements from both your winter and summer wardrobe to create a unique look that works only this time of year! Here I put together a few more formal outfit ideas that play with textures and patterns to give a more classy and put-together look for your next first date.

Floral with Leather

  

Pair a floral dress with a leather jacket and booties. You can incorporate florals without freezing your a** off. Plus a cute pair of low-heel leather booties will be both comfortable and sexy. And it may be the last chance you can wear that leather jacket before temps get too hot!

Embroidery and Suede

   

Get one last wear out of those over the knee boots! Pair suede boots with an embroidered dress for a look with tons of character. You can also try a suede moto jacket, or blazer for another approach. Get creative and mix soft suede with bright stitching!

Denim and Lace

 

For a slightly more casual evening/dinner look, trying mixing dark denim with lace. Lace is elegant, and very detailed, so it’s best when paired with simple pieces. If you’re more of a jeans girl, try a delicate lace top and pumps for the perfect spring date night.
P.S. Consider a boot cut!

In Between Dressy and Casual

If you’re looking for a look somewhere in between dressed up and dressed down, or your date is going to be a surprise, might I suggest a classic wrap dress? The wrap dress is the perfect look for virtually any occasion. It’s breathable, comfortable, nearly universally flattering, and can be dressed up or down with the right accessories. Every woman should have at least one wrap dress in their closet. DVF is the queen of the wrap, so if you’re looking for the perfect wrap for you, I suggest starting with her website. But there are tons of more affordable options.  Here is one of my favorites:

You can wear a classic wrap with sneakers and a denim jacket, get some strappy sandals and chandelier earrings, or just a simple pair of flats. The possibilities are endless, which is why this makes such a great, versatile first date look.

Now that I’ve provided you with a few ideas of how to dress for your next first date, I’d love to see some of the looks you created! Or, if you’ve had any major first date outfit fails?? If you think you still might need some help, Refined offers customized One Time styling packages to help you achieve that perfect first date ensemble.

Check back soon for Spring date looks for men, and  summer first date looks! Thanks for reading

XOX

Theresa

The Alternative to the Little Black Dress

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The LBD

When I’m making a list of closet staples for my clients, I always make sure to include a Little Black Dress! As I’m sure many of you know, a LBD is a necessary item for all women to own. A little black dress is a dress that can be made to work for any number of occasions; you can dress it up, you can dress it down. When in doubt, wear the little black dress!

So if you’re on the hunt for your own LBD, you want to be sure to find a high quality, well-fitting style in which you feel comfortable. You want to find a style that you love that looks good, and versatility is the name of the game. Ideally you select a style that pairs well with many different styles of shoes and accessories. The LBD is also key when traveling. In the event you may go to dinner at a fancy restaurant, or end up requiring more formal attire, the LBD will be your best friend.

The little black dress is a classic, timeless component to your wardrobe, but what if you want something a little different? Maybe you’ve worn out your favorite LBD, or you want something less traditional, maybe you feel less comfortable in a dress, or it’s a little chilly and you feel you need something more? For these reasons and more, I present to you the perfect alternative to the classic LBD:

The Little Black Jumpsuit!

Or as I like to call it: the LBJ.

A jumpsuit can be the perfect formal alternative to your traditional LBJ. If you opt for a wide-leg option, you give the illusion of a full length dress, but with more comfort and flexibility. You can dress a jumpsuit up with heels, and chandelier earrings. The LBJ also offers a more professional vibe if you go with close toes and a blazer. Or you can throw on a denim jacket and flat sandals for a more casual look. The possibilities are endless, and the only limit is your creativity!

Now I’ve gone a step further than simply suggestion the LBJ as an alternative to the LBD. I’ve also selected the perfect LBJ!

I give you: The Halston Heritage Flowy Jumpsuit w/ Draped Front:

   

This style is almost universally flattering. It is a style merges sexiness and modesty almost perfectly. With a fitted waste, and billowing pant, it give you the perfect hourglass shape. It is full length, but it’s unique draped leg gives the illusion of a slit, without being too revealing. With a plunging neckline, it offers the perfect amount of cleavage; but with a lace bralette can easily be made more conservative. It’s wide straps allow you to wear a bra, if that’s how you’re most comfortable. Also the tie detail in back gives the jumpsuit a little personality from all angles.

In Conclusion

If you want to try your own spin on the classic Little Black Dress consider shopping for an LBJ instead. Look for a style that moves with your body, fits well, is breathable, and comfortable. If you don’t know where to start, consider my Halston pick! Whether you’re going out for drinks with the girls, need a go-to wedding look, or want to look ultra-chic for a work event, this style will cover all of your bases!

Ready to pull the trigger? The Halston Heritage Flowy Jumpsuit is available at all of these retailers for under $200:
Neiman Marcus
Saks Fifth Avenue
Bergdorf Goodman
Halston.com
Amazon

XOX

Theresa

Taking the first step…

Posted Posted in Advice, Technology

Hello everyone! I wanted to start this blog with a post that was both helpful and relatable for anyone who may be looking to overhaul their closet, or build a wardrobe from scratch. Refined was built with a mission of helping you save time and money when it comes to your closet. I also hope to make looking and feeling stylish as easy as possible. We’ve all been there: staring at our closet thinking, “I have nothing to wear.” Well the good news is I can help you to avoid having that terrible feeling ever again! What do you think?

Do any of these sound like you?

  • You put way too many hours into finding the perfect outfit only to wear it one time.
  • You put no thought into a look only to leave the house feel self-conscious.
  • You try at least three different outfits before you settle on what to wear.
  • You are a clothing hoarder, with dozens of clothes you haven’t worn in years.
  • You have clothes in your closet don’t fit quite right. (“I can only wear these jeans with loose fitting shirts.” or “Those are my skinny pants.”)
  • You have damaged pieces you can’t seem to say goodbye to.
  • You just don’t want to think about clothes!

Do not worry! I am here…

First stop: Sales!

It can be tempting to buy a blouse off the discount rack, simply because it’s $10 and might work with these jeans, or it’s the perfect color for those shoes. But then when you get home and it doesn’t look quite right, at $10 is it worth the drive back to the store, or the shipping cost it would take to return it? Now what? Hang it up! You might find the perfect occasion to wear it…. Someday.

No! No! NO!

It’s the mistake we’ve all made. I know I have. I’ve reluctantly donated clothes with the tags still on. Too often we waste our valuable time spinning circles in our closet trying to decide what to wear. This is because our closet is filled with items just like that discount blouse. Believe me, I GET IT! f you’ve ever stubbornly held on to something just to try to get your money’s worth, I can help.

It Just Doesn’t Fit

Everyone goes through phases of losing and gaining weight. In fact, that could be the primary reason you’re considering a personal stylist to begin with. But a lot of us are holding onto those “skinny pants” with the hopes of being inspired to lose the weight. While it seems logical, believe me, it’s only hurting you. You dressers and closets being flooded with items you can’t wear just makes it that much hard to select an outfit each day. It’s a waste of your time, time that could be spent earning money or doing things you love. Not to mention the depression that settles in when you try to squeeze into something that is just too small.

Some of you may have the opposite problem. You’ve just lost weight and you feel and look great, but you’re reluctant to invest the money in all new clothes because, well, it’s just so expensive! Those jeans may have been your favorites, but they’re not doing you any favors being belted up to look like a lunch bag. A major component of style, and in my opinion the primary one, is to make you feel confident! When you feel good, good things happen. So if you’ve recently shed some pounds, reward yourself with a few pieces that fit you well and make you feel good.

Damaged Goods

I once had a very stylish friend who had a talent for combining all the right styles and colors to look 100%. However, one day she showed up to our dinner date wearing a boot with a dime sized hole in the toe! Don’t get me wrong, the boots were cute (or at least had been) but all I could do was stare at her purple sock peeping through. The moral of the story: no matter how fashion savvy you may be, a rip or hole in your clothes NEVER looks good. 

In conclusion…

Wouldn’t it nice to just close your eyes, reach into your closet, and pull out the perfect outfit? While that might not be completely possible, I can help get you close. Learning how to shop takes time. Whether you’re looking to buy new, or trying to shop your own closet, there are many factors to consider. Hopefully this post shed a little light and will help you get started on your transformation. If you have questions, or you have a problem I didn’t address here, please let me know!

I’m here to help!

XOX

Theresa